Don’t be so quick to say ‘I have impostor syndrome’.
How to make more sense out of what you’re feeling and feel better.
If you have ever said or thought that you ‘have imposter syndrome’, you won’t be alone. The problem is that the term has made a rapid rise from obscure to over-used!
When a term is over-used it gets under-scrutinised.
Rather than accepting the joy-sapping imposter feelings — get curious.
In this article, we will collect the evidence. We will deconstruct the symptoms and drivers of imposter syndrome in a real-world way. We will collect clues on the evidence board.
Turn detective to crack the case.
Step one - background check.
Who came up with the term?
How did the phrase ‘imposter syndrome’ originate?
It started off as ‘impostor phenomenon’ (doesn’t trip off the tongue).
The term was coined in 1978 by two psychologists at Georgia State University — Dr Pauline Clance and Dr Suzanne Imes. Their research observed 150 highly successful female students and career women who — despite the evidence of their own eyes — didn’t think they were as well qualified as their peers. They felt like they would be ‘found out’.
The feelings are human — so they existed way before 1978 of course!
Other research studies followed. Sample groups included creatives, judges, scientists, therapists and black female college students. It was obvious that these feelings and behaviours, now given a name , were surprisingly ‘normal’ amongst humans.
In 1980 Joan C. Harvey and Cynthia Katz designed the Harvey IP Scale — a list of statements measuring how strong the Impostor feelings are in an individual. The initial sample was college juniors and seniors — half of them in an honors program and half doing mainstream college courses.
The honors students scored higher on the scale — they felt it more!
‘The higher scores of the honors students show how the Impostor Phenomenon can grow worse as one receives more public recognition for success.’
Imposter feelings are more intense when we have some success!
Let’s pin this on the evidence board.
What triggers the imposter feelings?
Consider these different — but linked — situations:
A. The ‘I am not worthy’ situation.
You have just given a presentation on your specialist topic. You are mingling with the audience and they are heaping praise on you.
You are feeling uncomfortable and have a strong urge to escape.
Your ‘imposter feelings’ have been triggered by doing something well and people complimenting you.
Um… we will come back to this!
B. The ‘I don’t fit in’ situation.
You are at a team-building jolly — a sit down slap up meal in a posh restaurant. What’s not to like?
You smile through your pain.
You feel so out of place.
You veer between wanting to be like ‘the crowd’ and not wanting to be like them.
You are painfully self-conscious and want to escape.
Your ‘imposter feelings’ have been triggered by a sense of being stuck in an alien world that you don’t belong in .
Nobody has told you to leave because you don’t fit in. Everyone is friendly.
Um… we will come back to this too!
We can certainly pin 2 post it notes on the evidence board for now.
Now to proceed to the next part of the investigation.
Is Imposter Syndrome simply part of being a human?
There is a good argument to say — ‘so you have imposter syndrome — welcome to the everyday world of being a human.’
This isn’t meant to sound dismissive — I absolutely know the ‘pain’ of these impostery-self-doubt-identity-confusing-joy-sapping feelings!
But… the more you ‘get real’ about how your brain operates, the less ‘weird’ you feel about some of your emotional responses.
Here are a few resources that I’ve found enlightening and grounding — have a rummage.
How Emotions are Made — Lisa Feldman Barrett
If I’m so successful, why do I feel like a fake? The Impostor Phenomenon. — J.C. Harvey and C. Katz. (Old hardback copies available on Amazon and other ‘older book’ places.)
Get rational about how emotions are made by your brain — it explains a lot!
Whilst we live in a world of robots and space rockets, our brains are still pretty old school.
How can understanding our brains and ancient wiring help us manage imposter syndrome?
- Negativity bias as part of our survival instinct.
The human brain is the product of millions of years of evolution, we are hard-wired with instincts that helped our ancestors to survive in small groups of hunters and gatherers. Our brains often jump to swift conclusions without much thinking, which used to help us avoid immediate dangers.
- Our brains need to respond fast to protect us. They make a ‘best guess’.
Through prediction, your brain constructs the world you experience. It combines bits and pieces of your past and estimates how likely each bit applies in your current situation.
- We need to be part of a tribe to avoid being thrown out into the wilderness.
…we have a hardwired system that is alert to the threat of abandonment, separation, or rejection: these were once actual threats to life itself, though they are only symbolically so today.
- Storytelling has always played a crucial ‘connecting’ role. That suggests the stories we tell ourselves can be ‘sticky’!
The stories we tell ourselves shape the lives we lead.
Tara Brach
Consider this:
Emotions rush in before rational thinking. Gut responses can be life-saving but also ‘reality-distorters’.
Trisha Lewis :)
Are your imposter feelings faulty?
Feelings can be a red herring when it comes to cracking a case — but shouldn’t be dismissed. A good detective uses gut instinct.
Let’s return to those 2 ‘trigger situations’ and check out the feelings.
A. The feeling that you are not worthy.
The feeling is real, but what you do with it might not be helpful.
In the situation described earlier — your version of reality is faulty!
Think about it.
You did something well and the praise was genuine.
In reality, you know you made a good presentation.
So why the glitch in the matrix?
Are you in a cycle of feeling that just keeps going round and round?
- The Impostor Syndrome Cycle
- Fear that you only did well because you put a huge amount of effort in.
- Ditto above — but because you threw it together at the last moment and ‘got away with it’.
- No self-reflection time — so… round you go again.
B. The feeling that you don’t belong.
Again — the feeling is real and often seriously debilitating.
Again — there a disconnect between these feelings and the reality of the situation.
So what lies behind this disconnect?
NB: I am over-simplifying a complex set of feelings. I am not a psychologist or qualified to dig into layers around neuro-diversity and clinical depression/social anxiety.
Here is something I have uncovered from my own experience — (and I know I won’t be alone):-
You are making assumptions.
Assumptions about what other people are thinking and feeling.
Assumptions about who you are.
Are you attached to the identity labels that you picked up a long time ago?
‘I am this type — that type — of person.’
Are you judging others based on zero evidence — some mystical instinct?
Are you experiencing the curse of the thinker — the ‘outsider’ feeling (we won’t delve into Satre and Neitzsche just now though.)
And… drum roll…
Are you self-squashing?
Just ponder on this idea and the quote below while I put ‘assumptions and self squashing’ on the board.
If you feel that you are playing a part on the outside that doesn’t reflect what “you really are,” you can begin to feel like a fake. You’re experiencing a sense of dissonance between the role you’re playing and your internal feeling. And that dissonanance tends to increase and reinforce the feeling of being a phony.
Harvey & Katz
Tackling the reality glitches of your impostor syndrome feelings.
When you feel wobbly about receiving praise for a job well done — try this:
- Review your achievements realistically. Remind yourself of your worth!
- Check out your testimonials, thank you emails, qualifications etc.
- Keep learning — evolving with a joyful versus ‘perfectionism’ approach.
Be brave when receiving compliments — and ask questions rather than look for the nearest exit.
‘Oh thank you. What did you find most interesting? Did you agree with… etc’ ‘Did I make sense? I was worrying about putting too much into the presentation?’
When feeling you don’t belong — try self talk.
‘[insert your name] what makes you think you know everything about everyone?’
‘[your name] what’s so wrong with being able to bring something different to the table? Show more of yourself and you will discover that you have more in common with others than you think!’
NB: If you try this and still feel like a fish out of water — consider options! Maybe you do need to find a better fit — but do it from a place of strength not a place of ‘running away’ or ‘rebellion’.
We will return to this investigation — there are many more suspects in the files!
Having started with a nod to Harvey & Katz — I will close by pinning the final paragraph from their book on our evidence board.
‘The terrible secret’ is now out in the open. So remember you aren’t alone. The feeling of being an impostor, fake, or fraud can simply be the Impostor Phenomenon at work. If you let it, it can hold you back from accomplishing all you should in life. And it will steal from you the pleasure and satisfaction that should come from your success. Hold on tight to those good feelings. You earned them.
Harvey & Katz
And from me -
stay curious and unsquashed. x
Unsquashing resources.
TEDx — Beware the Self Squashing Prophecy
Non Fiction book — ‘The Mystery of the Squashed Self’.
Podcast — Self Belief Unsquashed. (and all pod platforms).
Connect on LinkedIn.
