Why the pressure to impress?
Is it an irrational fear of being ‘unremarkable’?
This ‘feeling’ that you need to impress more might invade your head during a work meeting, when you are creating content to share, or at a networking event or social get together.
A nagging voice in the back of your head says, ‘Be more impressive.’
And yet…
you are not a show off. Being judged as a show off is something you avoid at all costs.
Do you catch yourself thinking — ‘ if I’m not standing out, I’m somehow failing’.
What’s going on?
Is this an irrational fear of being ‘unremarkable’?
You can admit to this — because you won’t be alone!
You also know — rationally — that is a load of — um — rubbish!
What does it take to be impressive anyway?
Climbing Mount Everest?
Having 10 ‘best sellers’?
Risking your life on a mission to save an endangoured species?
Building a house out of recycled cow dung?
Being the first woman President?
Setting your ‘this is what impressive looks like’ level based on other people’s achievments will end in tears!
But the feeling is real — so what drives it and what can you do to stop it messing with your head?
Enter ‘the FIBs’!
Fears, Illusions and Baggage.
The fear of being unremarkable and the need to seem more impressive are often rooted in a mix of deep-seated fears, illusions, and emotional baggage. These things drive us to over-seek approval, validation, and a sense of significance.
Take for instance -
Fear of Being Forgotten
At the core of the need to impress is the fear that, if we don’t stand out, we’ll be overlooked or forgotten. It’s like we worry that without being seen as exceptional, we’ll fade into the background, becoming invisible to others. As humans — we are wired to connect for survival!
Illusion of Perfection
Social media, societal expectations, and even our upbringing can create the illusion that perfection is attainable — and necessary. We might think we have to excel in all areas of life, whether it’s career, relationships, or appearances. The reality is that perfection is a myth, but the illusion persists, making us feel like we constantly need to do more and be more impressive to measure up.
Joy sapping, soul destroying work!
Childhood baggage — we all have it!
For many people, the need to impress comes from early conditioning. Maybe we grew up in environments where praise and love were given based on achievements or how we performed. Over time, this can create a belief that our worth is tied to how impressive we are to others, leaving us with emotional baggage around always having to “prove” ourselves.
So — be aware of these pesky ‘self squashers’. Forewarned is forearmed (or something like that!)
Reconnect with the reality of your ‘remarkable-ness’!
Try this mantra:
If I want to train to climb Mount Everest, I will. I will impress myself with my willpower and fear busting.
One person’s ‘impressive’ is another person’s ‘bog standard’ and vica versa!
In reality — most of us are just trying to live our lives. Sure, it’s kind of cool to achieve big things or have great stories to tell, but that’s not the point of life. What really counts are the connections we make, the kindness we show, and how we keep getting back up and evolving with curiosity!
Unsquashing resources.
TEDx — Beware the Self Squashing Prophecy
Non Fiction book — ‘The Mystery of the Squashed Self’.
Podcast — Self Belief Unsquashed. (and all pod platforms).
Connect on LinkedIn.
